Marking the years

Have been having trouble dragging myself out of bed for my morning walk for a while, but figured what would’ve been Bob’s official retirement day warranted the effort. After several mornings of thick fog blanketing the valley, the fog was somewhat higher as I brightened up his grave with my little bunch of bright red leucodendrons to mark his 65^th birthday. No spectacular sunrise to herald this occasion, just splashes of pale pink as the bank of fog rolled relentlessly on blocking out the hidden brightness attempting to light up the sky.

Thought I’d sit in the gazebo at the memorial garden on the one folding chair and contemplate this peaceful morning, but unfolding it revealed a cockroach and Huntsman spider had taken up residence in its folds so opted for visiting each of the eight burial sites instead, a reminder of the passing of some precious people over the past eleven years. Tinged with sadness, but full of warm memories, and it is the positive that remains.

We don’t tend to live our lives consciously thinking about what legacy we will leave behind, we just live it the best way we know how, often operating by the seat of our pants hoping and praying we’re raising our children to be honest and resilient in a world that often doesn’t treat them as it should, and that we’re also operating from a set of values which will see us through so we don’t stuff up too much as we stumble along what can sometimes be a rough road through life.

It is only after we’re gone that people refer to the legacy we have left behind. We can’t contrive it, performing in a certain way to manipulate how others perceive us. There are plenty who have tried I guess, but eventually it all unravels. We can spot a phony from fifty paces, and avoid them like the plague. But the genuine article? They earn our love and respect, and not necessarily because of what they have achieved but simply by who they are. They’re the ones whose legacy lives on in a positive way, not only with those who remember them after they’re gone, but with those whose lives have been enriched to the extent that those values are replicated, multiplied, given freely and generously, handed on to the next generation. You can’t fake it.