Amazing what can
occupy your mind when you’ve been crook as a dog for a whole week. Even when you
have no energy for anything else, you eventually discover why you never watch
daytime television, but the TV Guide itself, after scanning it yet again in the
hope something of worth would miraculously appear, proved to be inspiration
enough. So, from the TV Guide for September 4, here is my tale of
woe.
What a week.
Getting up each morning has been like waking
the dead. The faint sounds of the
drum could be heard as Charlie’s
Angels hovered overhead, waiting for the dead to be brought out.
When I’d rather
be wild at heart sitting around the campfire as I tour the world, I was instead bushwhacked by a heavy cold, sinusitis,
coughing, sneezing, chills and aches. The
dreamhouse has been liberally contaminated with germs in every nook and
cranny.
The mirror could
not lie…
“You are
definitely not one of the bold and the
beautiful.”
“You look like
you’re about to die on your feet.”
“You look like the biggest loser on the last leg.”
Couch time has been the only thing I’ve managed, even woke up
with a double dribble on my chin
after nodding off in the middle of
the day. After 7 days of every home remedy known to man, the catalyst to action was spicks and specks flashing before my
eyes during yet another rattly coughing fit, and so, seconds from disaster, it was time to seek professional advice.
Was tossing up
whether to go to Harry’s Practice on
Coronation St and get them to put me
down, but eventually decided to go to the
doctors on Shortland St, not
the ones on Ripper St, to relay the horrible histories of my symptoms.
After question time, it was time to shake it up with a reality check, and deal or no deal I agreed as a last
resort to antibiotics which will serve as the avengers against my bronchitis. Armed with probiotics to combat
the antibiotics, and with necessary home
shopping to sustain me for another week, I was ferried home again where I’m
still alive and cooking, preparing
for the next few day’s rules of engagement which will see me on the
road to recovery, when hopefully I
will be in a condition to say cheers
and have a super fun night with friends.
So, stay tuned, I will soon crawl out of
the grave and rejoin the world of real
humans.
