Sunday, April 12, 2015

The Male of the Species

Superb Blue Wrens would have to be my favourite small bird, along with Scarlet Robins, which have just started making an appearance of late. Such beauty and energy all wrapped up in this tiny little ball. The males show off their vibrant colours while their much plainer female partners and progeny hover around and follow them faithfully, giving them pride of place.

Generally, unlike we humans who place such emphasis on the female body beautiful, in the animal world by and large it is the males who grab all the attention. Now I guess there’s a perfectly good reason for that, for if they weren’t adorned in such an irresistible manner, I guess the females might simply go about their own business without giving them the time of day, therein putting the reproduction of the species somewhat in jeopardy.

So, they primp and preen and squawk and scream and roar to draw attention to themselves, but as we in humanland can attest, things don’t always go as planned in the pursuit of a partner.

Picture if you will one of the most demonstrative of birds, the peacock, in abundance at Cataract Gorge in Launceston. I imagined the interaction going something like this……..

Ok folks, while I have your undivided attention, let me show you how it’s done.

Approach her directly, no messin’ about, declare your intentions up front. No mixed messages, no ambiguity, leave no room for doubt.

Hi there sweetie, watcha doin? Wanna come back to my place and check out my scratchings?

What? Did someone say something?

Come on now, don’t look away, don’t be coy. Here….watch….I’ll do the shimmy shimmy shake for you….not bad eh?

Oh, typical. So obvious. Whatever happened to subtlety? Might impress this lot but you’re gonna have to try another tack fella.

Come on love, they’re all watchin’, can’t hold these things up forever you know. Don’t leave me hangin’ out here to dry…turn around…please?

You don’t really think I’m going to respond in front of this lot do you? Would’ve got a lot further with a simple ‘Hi’ when no one was looking, but no, you just have to go the whole hog don’t ya.

Blimey, what’s a bloke supposed to do.


Ok, I give up, plenty more birds of a feather in the old stamping ground to choose from eh?

Hmm, cute backside, shame about the ego. Don’t let on I checked him out.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Getting Way Ahead of Myself

Put the clock forward an hour at the start of daylight saving, put it back an hour at the end. How difficult can it be? Obviously too difficult for my little pea brain, for over the years I’ve somehow managed to get it wrong on more than one occasion and turned up for church on Easter Sunday morning an hour early or an hour late, or sometimes not at all.

So how did I manage to muck it up this year? Spent a relaxing Thursday night and Good Friday with Glen & Mel & the grandkids, but because I had a full day working in the General Store the next day, got myself organised with things to do to occupy myself all day before I went to bed. Now, I knew I was working a full day shift on Easter Saturday, I repeat Saturday, but somewhere in my head, and most of the time it’s quite an organised head, I thought I’d make sure I got up at the right time and put the bedroom clock back an hour and set the alarm so I wouldn’t turn up late to open the shop.

I have this thing I do if I wake up before the alarm of trying to guess the time judging by the amount of light already in the room, and am surprised at how close I usually get. Thought it must be about 7.30, rolled over and looked at the clock and it said 6.32, which I quickly realised would be right seeing as the sun would now be rising an hour earlier. Tried to nod off again, no luck, so turned the radio on. Everything was fine until the announcer did a time check at 7.45. 7.45? My clock said 6.45. How can it be 7.45, why isn't it 6.45? Brain cogs move slowly to understand this anomaly until the penny drops. Ah…it’s Saturday…duh!

Opened the Store at the right time, but another lapse occurred, as I recorded the day’s newspapers in the Sunday spot in the folder, wondering about the blank line and who hadn’t recorded the arrivals and sales for Saturday’s papers. As I put the papers on the rack and perused the headlines it dawned on me, I was holding the Saturday papers. Got out the white out, changed entries in folder.

Managed to get through the day believing it was Saturday until the evening when I was having trouble working out why the programs on TV weren’t matching what was in the TV guide. I turned on the ABC news at 7pm, that was ok, flipped over at the end of the news to Escape to the Country which wasn’t on, kept pressing the remote to find something worth watching, thought I’d go and do something else until Castle at 8.30 when I came across the start of Coast on SBS which I quite enjoy. But how could that be. Coast isn’t usually on Sunday night. Checked the TV guide again, yep there it was, on Saturday.

Oh…that’s right…it’s Saturday. Still.

Now I blame, well I’m not sure who or what I blame, but the end of daylight saving is confusing enough without having it finish on the Easter long weekend.  Having Friday off obviously made my body, or at least what was left of my brain, believe it was already the weekend, hence I was a day ahead of myself right from the start, or behind, whichever. Here’s hoping I get up at the right time Sunday to open the Giftshop.