Getting out of work the hard way

It was raining last Monday (Jan 30), not a particularly common occurrence around here, despite Tassie’s reputation of being wet and cold most of the time, so thought I’d get the brolly out of the car. Bad decision. By the time I got to work my back was playing up so bad had to head home by lunchtime, and that’s where I’ve been ever since.

Had all the necessary medication which usually gets me through the worst of the first few days of my long standing back injury, but on this occasion was barely touching the edges. Did the right thing and did the soft shoe shuffle round the block couple of times a day to keep as mobile as possible otherwise everything seizes up completely.

Flat on my back the rest of the time, so the only method of getting into an upright position again was to drag myself commando style as if some unknown enemy was on the lookout for me from the lounge room to the loo. Thankfully I have bars fitted which after a bit of interesting maneuvering I could grab on to and lift myself up before the bladder burst.

This usually lasts for 3 or 4 days before I can start functioning again, but by Day 8 of excruciating pain and no improvement, and having to get friends in to help me get dressed, the white flag of surrender finally came out. Called an ambulance and some lovely ambos ferried me to Lonnie hospital where I ended up in a drug induced stupor which sent me to la-la land where pain doesn’t exist. Bliss for a while.

Equipped with stronger pain killers and muscle relaxants they sent me packing, but I think now at Day 10 I’m finally starting to turn the corner. Doesn’t actually address the underlying problem which sparked off this latest episode but hopefully I can now begin some basic physio to get back on track.

Have discovered a few things in the past few days. Family and friends are wonderful when you’re at your worst. Daytime television is definitely the pits, have grazed my elbows from dragging myself along the floor so much, kitchen tongs have become my greatest ally, picking up everything from my mobile to the TV and DVD remote, blanket, heat pack, TV guide, you name it, they were indispensable. Anything I’ve dropped on the floor has stayed there, shame I don’t have a dog to come and clean up after me. Haven’t been able to read, a real downer, as I read constantly, but with so many foreign chemicals coursing through my body my brain has been addled, my speech slurred and my eyes a bit unfocussed. Then there’s the issue of constipation having so many pain killers does to you, but we won’t go there. Did suggest an enema while I was in the hospital, but for some strange reason they didn’t take me seriously.

One thing I should’ve done is post this entry in its original state, as the spellchecker was going crazy with my fingers constantly hitting the wrong keys.

So, here’s to good health and maybe a return to work by next Monday. The least I could’ve had for two weeks off work was a bit of fun, maybe that’ll have to wait until I retire!