I must admit, public toilets are not usually a subject of great interest, unless you’re busting of course and desperate to find one, but there is a certain amount of information you gradually build up over time about your own town’s public facilities. Such as where they are firstly depending on what part of town you’re in, which ones to avoid and which ones are acceptable, which ones never have any toilet paper, which ones are shut after hours, which ones you would only hover over and never sit on etc etc.
Well, there I was at one of my usual loos in Launceston, unisex ones, when a guy came out leaving it the only one unoccupied and there was absolutely no way I could even get near the door let alone lock myself in there for several minutes without expiring. What on earth he’d been doing in there I don’t know, well….I do know, it was all too obvious, but the extent to which he’d been doing it was unbelievable.
Quick exit to head to the next known toilet destination when I spotted a sign directing me to some new facilities I’d never seen before, and for the last couple of weeks since their discovery they have become my preferred calling point when caught short in town. Out the back of Bakers Dozen on Brisbane St and just left of the Yolanda Jean Café in a very neat paved courtyard sporting framed artworks would you believe on the brick walls of the adjoining building, there’s about six in a row, all clean, brightly lit, stocked with oodles of paper, but the piece de resistance in each one is the hand dryer.
No nice gentle stream of warm air under which you have to rub and rub and rub and rub your hands waiting for it to actually dry them. Installed in these loos is the ultimate drying machine, THE XELERATOR. Picture in your mind those documentaries of astronauts in training on the G-Force whirligig thing. As the speed picks up suddenly the skin on their faces seems to turn to jelly, like the flesh has become separated from the bone and is smearing itself all over their faces in a fear stricken grimace.
That’s what the Xelerator does to the skin on your hands. It’s like it turns to liquid and is pushed this way and that by the sheer force of the thing, accompanied by a roar to wake the dead. Unfortunately it’s so effective your hands are dry in next to no time, but it’s worth the visit just for the experience.
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